Dark Chocolates

You realize it when you can't hear anyone else say any ill about them.. You realize it when holding their hand makes you feel better.. You notice when their sweet words melt your anger... You realize it when somehow you always want to forget and forgive.. You notice it when you stop comparing it to what you imagined.. You notice it when you gain a better understanding... you notice when you open your heart a bit... you realize it's real when you stop fantasizing...you realize it's there when you stop idealising.. You realize when you let things the way they are,,, and when you notice them in their own way... You realize maybe it's different somehow..coz you don't know anyone even if you think you know.. You realize maybe it's expressed some way else.... You realize that maybe the flaws persist.. You realize maybe they everywhere exist... But you know it when a smile makes your day beautiful... You know it when you realize it's not exactly how you imagined..

Is it just me or birthdays are scary? Sometimes I feel that people actually wish more for my birthday to be "special" more than I do. Well.. The party on a birthday is special, but you got to have friends for it, right? (Well...coz I moved away from Delhi, I don't have so many friends where I am currently living) so instead of focusing on how to make my birthday special, I decided to make some new friends..getting hell out of the comfort zone.  and along with it...came the resolution list... things I want do before people are asking me the special plans again next year... 1. weekly blog: find new ideas to write about weekly. it's stressing...and I have made this vow many times, but hey, there's a famous notion of never giving up right? 2. Morning run: nothing is better than a run in the morning, Those sweats and then the shower, I feel is an amazing feeling in life which I still don't practice though. so from tomorrow am tying up my new nike shoes and

My two cousins were very close to me. We have shared good times together. Us four: me, my sis and they both brothers. But, now we all have parted our own ways. We four have settled in our own different lives. Maybe I am a very sensitive person deep down. I cannot keep a block in keeping contact with people who have been a major part of my life. Be it my best friend from school or anyone else. So yes, I try to remain in touch with them. But this very thought which comes to every person now and then is, "They do not text us, why should we?". And this makes me sad. I show my angst by saying, "You do not miss me?" But the truth is, even if I say that, they are not going to text me next.  It is still going to be me. So it is just better if I avoid that thought. Maybe, we hold a significant place in our hearts for some people but some do not have the same for us. Or maybe, everyone is just too busy to reminiscence their past, which is of course expected from all of us.

I was back to being a 10 year old and my mom was waiting for me outside the school. She hugged me as I ran into her arms with that heavy breathing. It was such a discomfort but oh, my young and pretty mom made me feel safe. And then, I woke up. It was 5am last night and I was having the usual asthma attack because of the ac! I took my puff and went off to sleep. But oh! how good the scene was. Was it a symbol that how much I miss mom's love!! I am going to meet my mom today..but a lot older version from my dream. I distinctly remember what the day was. I remember her little brownish-white colored suit. I think she looked the best that day! We had gone to buy some grocery after my school got over around 12am only!! (I think I was in UKG..lol!!) And then we went off to my dad's clinic. Probably!!! (As I do not have That much good memory). I reckon the poem, "My Mother at Sixty-Six" by Kamla Devi. I was deeply touched reading it.. Even though my mom is not that old b

What all can happen in one month? There are few things in my life, which I did for a very short duration of time. One was "National School of Drama", a camp I had joined when I was in 5th grade! and I Still remember bits and pieces of it. I had overcome the loss of those special friends I met (one of those, who I met coincidentally in metro). It was depressing for so many years. I was like, Whyyy ? Why do we meet people who are not supposed to stay in our lives forever??!! and the most recent experience was now, my first job. It does not matter how much developed the company was or was not, but the people there were those who I had to meet!! No wonder, a job brings back your self-respect, security and confidence, but being so lucky to find just the people you need is exceptional!! I have said it all times that unexpected things happen at unexpected times. You never know what good time awaits you in future!  The people I met in the office i.e. my team, was the company I

That day I was leaving for my college in a hurry. But then, I felt like I forgot something, so I rushed back in, opened the almirah, took out some money and bid you goodbye. I for once thought to kiss your forehead while you were waving your hand with a very difficult effort. But then I ignored because I was getting late and went out. You must remember how you used to wake me up and my sister at 4am when we both were in school. I hated it, Of course! I was in 3rd grade afterall.. Why so much misery in summer vacations? But now, all I remember are the calm mornings and the breeze. The swing sets in the garden. Even the broken ones. The kids along with me, especially the few I used to fight with over turns. The chirping of the birds which I guess is so rare now (well, am not quite sure because I still cannot wake up that early). I remember you, playing cards with your friends. I remember how I used to feel safe and secure only till I could have a sight of you from far away. Oh! I do

"Comedy" A thing I am addicted to. I need the jokes. I need the laughter almost everywhere. I need in the Tv shows. Romance in movies without a bit of comedy feels a zero. I want it in my writing. I want it in my scrapbooks. No matter how it comes out to be. Never letting a thing remain serious for too long is a hobby, I must say (Except when its my own temper,ofcourse).. Is it too bad? Does it account for immaturity? What is it like to be a person without a sense of humor? Isn't it depressive enough? Don't they suffer? I have never been around those people who can't have a good laugh or can't let small stuff go. I have never been able to be friends with them. And I am always in a fear to be one of those. Often when a day or two goes by without having a good laugh, it tenses me up. I start to feel like am changing. Maybe because its the one thing I love about me the most. Which I think is the one thing everyone must have. A cheer. A happy aura. Because a

They say every little part of your life makes you learn something even if you don't know it then. Just like I have started going to the gym and I get flashbacks of the time when I was that active. My basketball team.My coach. My friends who basically weren't that close. What did that teach me? That was the time I often hated. I hated getting early at 6 am to go for practice even in sick winters! But what kept me going? They were the moments when I took shots for my school. When my parents used to talk proudly of me. When I used to sit there with the whole team grabbing the trophy. When my coach used to say "You played an excellent game" I wasn't too good at it, I must say. There were players better than me. I remember how I used to often be jealous of not being able to compete to them. I hated when my coach used to scold me and grab my ponytail in front of all my teammates. Embarrassment. And I remember the day I declared that I wont be playing anymore bec

1. Nothing is ever the way you expect it to be. Harsh. But true. So you could sit with your book infront of you and imagine your future but it won't turn out exactly that way. Note: exactly 2. You are you. But you are also who you want to be. So one should always keep improving their lifestyles or habits according to the life they want  to lead or person they wana be. And nothing is wrong about the change that comes by. 3. Distance can never erode memories. A tv programme or a festival could bring up nostalgia. But you should always keep up with it and make new ones to remember later. 4. Books are indeed best friends. 5. Grudges are better be gone. Easy to say though. Needs practice. 6. You must do or try or have one new thing each day. It could go from buying a diamond necklace to gaining a little knowledge about something.  You could try black tea or make one yourself. 7.You should never take your feelings too seriously. Like if you are upset, thats ok too. 8. Neve