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Cognitive Distortions


I don't know what to write anymore.
To portray the good that exists out there.
Or to reveal the darkness hidden underneath.

To fire up because of the madness I've felt,
Or to dance along the beautiful rhymes,
To glee about the fact that the ray of light is visible,
Or to be upset that I had to walk through the dark.

To believe the praise that I hear,
Or to listen to the giggle about me,
If I have to go by the harshest of the words said,
Or to run by the sweetest smiles exchanged.

What to believe I ask- myself.
Often in the nights that don't seem to end.
To believe that people care about each other,
Or to stay certain that they never understand.

Who is to be believed?
Someone who says that I carry a bright light,
Or someone who agonized me to lose self-respect.

Should I trust people who believe in my potential
Or those who made me believe I am nothing.
Burst in the flames that some have sparked in me,
Or walk on the calm roads holding hands of the one
who made me adore the flaws I have.

And who is to say that everything lasts?
Be it bad or the good- who can guarantee the honesty?
Some shrewd say things to hurt you, and don't believe.
Another kind says to woo you, with intentional means.

And I? I struggle.
Struggle to make sense about the world that is
Far from honesty.
Dicey about my own judgments, although
none has been wrong.
But, I am human, to err is my flaw,
And to believe that people are to be thought about,
Is another.



Comments

  1. Abhi12 October 2019 at 08:50

    Superb piece. I know you ain’t expecting a response to it as it’s not a question but yes I would say this has intrigued me. I would say the answer always lies in balance. There’s no one way or right or wrong and you can never rely on a single modus operandi else people tend to start taking you for granted or even use you. But how to decide which way to follow at a given time? Go with the gut feeling, and you may go wrong but to err is human and yes, you cannot escape the burden of thinking about people.

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    Replies
    1. Reeka Grover12 October 2019 at 09:44

      Always appreciate a response anyways. :D thanks for reading! I know the paradox is unsolvable. But I wonder if the solution to our over thinking is only -- get busy?

      Delete
  2. Miles Jenkins12 October 2019 at 10:49

    I know how it feels to be on that knife edge between optimism and pessimism. The pessimist rationale is “if I believe the worst of people, I’ll never be disappointed or hurt”. Whereas the optimist is open to finding the best in people, but vulnerable to disappointment. It’s easy to say, but I really think we have to decide in favour of optimism, in people, in life, in love. “Better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.”

    Anyways, thank you for posting, it triggered my thoughts. Please be encouraged to write more!

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